Many people will say that the youngest years are the most formative, and I have no doubt that’s true. My grandparents and many relatives moved to California, and my family and I made several trips to California in the 1950s and 1960s. I had a large extended family out there of second cousins and great uncles and aunts. I particularly remember Uncle Nicky and Uncle Matty. My third trip there was in the mid 60’s so I was probably around 11 or 12, old enough to love fireworks. In Brooklyn, fireworks were illegal and were difficult for a 12-year-old to get. You can imagine my shock when we arrived in California, where fireworks were legal. It was simultaneous ecstasy and torture. As a 12-year-old in the back of the car, I passed a fireworks stand on every corner, and yet, no matter how I begged to stop, no one would. It did not matter if I was with my parents or grandparents; they would ignore me or give an emphatic No! This went on day after day and what seemed like an eternity of torture for a 12-year-old.
Until one day, I was in the car with Uncle Matty. I did my usual begging to stop, not really expecting anything different when he pulled over. I was in shock. My 12-year-old mind could not grasp what was happening. We are in a place where fireworks are legal, and someone is buying them for me? Is this really happening?
Such a small moment in life with such a big impact on the life of a young child. I believe this act taught me a lesson in bringing radical joy.
Fast forward over 50 years to Thursday April 18, 2024
Everybody’s Birthday Party is one of our regular events in Nica. It’s a big-time birthday party with clowns, a trampoline, a bounce house, gifts, food, candy cake, popcorn, cotton candy, and toys, but we celebrate 70-80 kids’ birthdays simultaneously. Given their poverty, it’s undoubtedly a bigger birthday party than they will ever get on their actual birthday. It’s a great event, and the kids love it.
After the party, I had a few leftover gifts, and the next day, I drove into a random poor community to give them out. I started passing out gift bags to 3 kids in front of a house, and more neighborhood kids showed up. Parents were running up with their kids, and people were taking pictures of me in the car as I handed out the gifts. I was close to running out, but luckily, every kid got a gift. I only had one left over. As I left, the gratitude from adults and children was evident. I had burst into their mundane Thursday morning with unexpected joy, like Santa arriving in April. Everyone was smiling and shouting gracias as I left. They were happy, and I felt good.
There are two valid options for giving. One is long-term funding exemplified in education, job training, and self-sufficiency projects. Train the individual to obtain a job or create a small business and break the cycle of poverty. The other is reckless, inconsistent, and sometimes unfair giving that brings sudden, unexpected joy into someone’s life. We all have the power to do it. Uncle Matty taught me that at a very young age.
